All we have to rely on is our consistency. ‘Kinda’ never gets us anywhere. All the reasons we ‘kinda’ want something, ‘kinda wanna get flexible’ or ‘kinda wanna wear a new outfit’ or ‘kinda wanna get buff’. Where “kinda” exists it’s good to look to see if underneath it there is apathy, self animosity, or depression. What does depression physically do to someone? It is heavy and hopeless. No one says “I kinda wanna be a doctor”, or “I kinda want to be married”. You can’t kinda live. It’s that indecision that allows you to be controlled. Life requires decisiveness.
Self doubt takes away 30% of our energy. If that doesn’t make sense or if it sounds like new age hocus pocus, just think of the amount of mental power and real time it takes to stop and doubt yourself. Depression is the heaviest form of self animosity. Any time you are crippled with indecision you are storing depression. That doesn’t mean you need to just make up your mind already, what it means is that there are real lifesaving, life affirming, life giving reasons to practice. Not just kinda, but you owe your life to the reason you’re here. The reason lives in your possibility. Your consistency of your practice generates trust in yourself. Possible exists only when you can trust.